Musings

I wish I could say that I have been busy organizing my teacher stuff, or doing some fabulous activity with my family, or coming up with an amazing unit, but I can't.
Nope.
Not me. I've been watching TV (why is there nothing on in the summer?!) reading books (none of my favorite authors have anything new out!) and attempting not to eat everything in sight (my kids expect me to take them to the pool this week - ack!)
I have created a new Pinterest board for all things "Wild" as in "Where the Wild Things Are" which is going to be the classroom theme for my room, the other kindergarten room AND the Transitional First room next year! We have decided to create 4 foot replicas of each character to display in the hallway. Thank goodness my husband has agreed to help out, otherwise my part would be looking very sad indeed! Aside from that, I still have to come up with some classroom decorations, so I've been pinning everything I've come across - I'm starting to think that a) this is going to be a hard theme to pull together, b) this is going to be a ton of work this summer and c) it's going to look awesome!
Thanks to Nikki over at Melonheadz, I've got some great "Where the Wild Things Are" clipart to play with, so look for some freebies along those lines soon! Now I just have to figure out how to make all these gorgeous signs I keep seeing:

They are gorgeous, but I can't afford to buy all that I want so I'll have to figure out how to make them - remember, we're decorating 3 classrooms! If there's a tutorial for these out there somewhere I'd love you forever if you point me in the right direction! I may have to pass this project on to my teaching partner who is infinitely creative (even if she can't figure out how to open her email!).

I have found some fabulous units on TPT already, so those are on my wishlist - hopefully with my birthday coming up in July I will get some gift card love :)  After spending a year is 1st grade I find I am forgetting what the beginning of kindergarten looks like, so I will have to spend some time studying my CCSS so I can plan my unit.

Speaking of the new year...I am already nervous about starting over with a new group of kiddos. You know, when you have a class for 9 months, and you get to know them, and love them, and figure out their quirks and strengths and all the uniqueness that makes them yours, it is so hard to let go and start over again with loving a new group.

It's kind of like when I became a mother for the third time. The first time, with my daughter I fell in love instantly the moment I saw her. My next child was my first son and it was easy to love him too. With my third child, I worried if I would love him as much as my other two because I already had a son and a daughter.

To be brutally honest, I didn't. Not at first. For the first 3 days or so, it was very difficult. I had a little bit of post-partum blues going, but mostly it was that he wasn't like the other two at all. The other two were dark haired, pale little bundles of sweetness. My third child came out at 10lbs 5 oz, brick red skin and wild orange hair. He was too big, too red and too not what I was expecting. Still, I struggled through, figuring if I faked it I would eventually make it and sure enough after about 3 days I looked down at him in my arms and I felt that overwhelming moment of pure love and connection. He was mine, I loved him and that was that.

Well, every year I get that same feeling all over again. I want my kids back - the ones I know, who know me. The ones who I've rubbed along with for 9 months until all of our rough edges are worn away and we fit like puzzle pieces. Instead I get to watch those pieces of me walk into another room to rub against a new teacher, while I'm face with a room full of strangers with rough edges I can't even begin to imagine.

Of course, along with those rough edges are surprising depth and kindness and creativity. Moments of hilarity, genius and love. I know that eventually I'll come to love this new group of little people, the way I've loved the ones who have gone before them. But, at first, I'll have to fake it.

Wow, can you tell I'm missing school already? The past couple of days I've felt unfinished, like I forgot to turn off the stove or misplaced something important.  I love the summer time since I get to spend it with my family, but I think the beginning is also slightly depressing after the fullness of the school year. Send me some comment love to let me know I'm not alone, please?