Anyways, here's what greeted me when I returned:
Instead of having 1 sub for 5 days, my class had 3 subs and a class-size assistant:
1st Day: The sub had only taught middle school and above and was completely frazzled by a day in 1st grade. She was supposed to come back for the rest of the week but bailed out. Wuss.
2nd Day: No one would come in to substitute so the assistant from next door got pulled in and he
3rd Day: Very sweet older lady who apparently didn't have a clue what was going on. This could be because I left one set of lesson plans for 5 days rather than 5 days worth of individual lesson plans. It also could be because she was older than Methuselah.
4th & 5th Day: This woman stuck it out for 2 days, so I have to give her kudos for that, but she left me a note that said:
Gertrude and Hildegard fought with each other all the time!
Bethesda was very disruptive by talking all day!
Iphram was out of his seat a lot and didn't complete any of his work!
Hmm...that sounds familiar...let's look at the note that I left for the substitute:
Gertrude and Hildegard should be kept apart at all times, otherwise they will fight all day.
Bethesda talks a lot. Ignore it as much as possible and tell the other students not to engage her.
Iphram has a medical condition. Expect him to be out of his seat a lot. He will probably not complete his work, but as long as he attempts it that is ok.
Do I know my kids or what?! Of course this just bears out my sneaky suspicion that substitutes usually don't bother to read the notes I leave. Next time I am going to insert something completely random and crazy into the notes like "Watch out for the aliens who come at 2:00pm, you should wear an aluminum foil hat to protect your brain waves." and see what happens.
So, anyways, my kiddos were a bit wound when I returned. They had to adjust to having me back, which included pushing all of my buttons to be reassured that I had come back the same way I left and that I had not suddenly changed all of the rules. We walked a lot of laps at recess this week, let me tell you! By Friday they had finally figured out that it was really me and all of our procedures and rules were the same, so hopefully next week will be better.
Oh! I got a new student too! He's a darling from another state. Apparently, in that state, it is okay to pour glue on your seat and on your nose. Not a dot of glue, a long line of glue that drips off the end of your nose by the time your teacher gets you down to the office. Throwing, hitting, putting up your middle finger and licking everything in sight is encouraged. Also in that state, you can apparently get straight A's for reading at a kindergarten level in first grade! Oh, and those pesky things like writing complete sentences? Apparently not applicable in that state - you just write down the first sound in a word and call it a day, no punctuation necessary and random capitalization is encouraged.
Does that sound snarky? I usually try not to judge other teachers/states, but when I get a report card with all A's attached to a child who is so far below grade level it's not funny, and I only have 20 days to try to get him ready for 2nd grade because I can't retain him as he's already been retained, well I get a wee bit upset. The only thing I can guess is that he was either really good at copying off his neighbors, or his teacher just wanted him the heck out of her room so she was going to pass him at all costs. The glue all over the chairs is rather annoying after all.
Hmm...can't remember any actual learning that we did. I'm sure we fit it in there somewhere..maybe.
Oh wait! We did play with trash! There was a city-wide art contest in honor of Earth Day. The entries had to made from recycled, used trash. We spent a whole afternoon and the next morning cutting, gluing and pasting trash. Then I grabbed 9 people in our building - (custodians, assistants, teachers and cooks) to judge our creations and pick the top 2 pieces of art so they could be sent off to the city competition. Then I listened to the howling of the kiddos not picked for the next 30 minutes. I was the only teacher in the building who participated. I am still confused why the other teachers wouldn't want to have their rooms covered in trash, have to moderate trash arguments (I had that toilet paper roll first!) and calm the howling of the malcontents. Oh well, it was a load of fun for the kids. Here are the two winners:
Well, Monday starts a new week, right?! So, next week we are going to....ummm....hmmm...maybe I should just go back to bed a while until my brain starts working again. I'm sure after a quick nap I'll come up with something!
I'm going to break the cardinal rule of blogging and come back tonight with a freebie, look for me then! Oh, and since I'm breaking bloggy rules anyways. here are some pictures of my beary good vacation!